My literal boring slideshow from our fabulous vacation

When Jacob and I decided we were going to move to San Francisco, the idea was to live closer to the water. Both of us grew up along the coast; him in the Pacific Northwest while I grew up in the Atlantic Northeast. Unfortunately, we have since realized that the only affordable housing available to two young people with no recent rental history is deep in the interior of the city (a.k.a. the mission district, smelly and in a constant state of disrepair). Instead of hearing the waves crashing against a rocky beach, we hear sirens, cars with four subwoofers rattling their body panels off, and muffler-less motorcycles accelerating to double the speed limit at all hours of the night.

After I got sick, we had to cancel our plans to join the JTV guys in celebrating Bill and his lovely wife's wedding in France. While the guys were out of town, we figured it was a great opportunity to go on a short, relaxing vacation. For the reason explained above, it had to be near water. I also hate flying the way I am, so it had to be within driving distance. Also, it needed to be home to penguins. Thus, we went to Monterey, California, and within an hour of arriving we contemplated convincing the guys to move Justin.tv HQ there. It's a touristy place, but we got lost in the most beautiful California suburban neighborhood I've ever seen. With Laguna Seca just around the corner, I would gladly live there (if we could afford to buy a house there w/ a 2 car garage).

Our hotel choice, (Monterey Bay Inn), was perfect; not too fancy nor chain-ish, but not run down or dingy either. The front desk clerk was extra polite to us as we checked in (while he stared at my crutches), and they had an elevator (something I neglected to check before booking). The place had the layout of a motel, but the carpets, furnishings and bathrooms were great quality. Well, the carpets in the hall outside the room were trashed, but that made the plush fancy room carpet look even better. Our room overlooked the harbor and ocean, and it had a very compact balcony with a neat little table and two chairs. The bed was basically a giant pillow, something I loved but Jacob didn't care for. The location of the hotel was perfect, at the end of Cannery Row within walking distance from the aquarium and the touristy restaurants.

One touristy restaurant, Fish Hopper, had pricey yet mediocre food, sticky tables, but an incredible view. Our table was in a wing of the building that rested on columns over the ocean. We watched dolphins jumping out of the water less than a half mile away, otters playing in the water just below us, and kayak-ers getting yelled at by the coast guard. It was certainly the best view I've ever had at a restaurant.

The city itself was a great place to spend the weekend. A pedestrian trail ran parallel to the main tourist strip, making it easy for me to walk around without worrying about being shoved or bumped. The Monterey Bay Aquarium was absolutely spectacular; jelly fish, sharks, parrot fish, corals, otters, giant kelp and of course, penguins.

I love aquariums. I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan of fish, but I am a fan of seeing creatures in a version of their natural habitat without having to smell them (like you do in a zoo). We read almost all the placards that sported interesting facts, and I learned more fabulously useless pieces of information. For example, did you know that giant kelp can grow 2 feet in a single day? Yep, I got me some learning done in that there fishery!

Before leaving Monterey, Jacob and I shared a chocolate shake and chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick. (We also shared a horrible stomach ache later on that night.)

In the afternoon of our last day in Monterey, we went to the Dennis the Menace park and playground. We had driven by it when we arrived, and I came across it on Yelp when I was looking for extra stuff for us to do, and that sealed the deal. We ended up spending at least an hour, if not longer, sitting on a park bench, watching kids at the adjacent skate park while we relaxed in absolutely perfect weather. With a lake to our side, the ocean to our backs, and green grass stretching out beyond the playground, we tried to memorize the experience for recollection after we returned to San Francisco.

Being in a playground with Jacob made me feel like a kid again. With great enthusiasm, he convinced and encouraged and teased me until I crossed the giant rope bridge, and then repeated the process to get me to cross it again (my excuses for being a pansy about it were: I'm afraid of heights, and I was using crutches). Situations such as that remind me of how lucky I am to be with Jacob. He makes me feel good about wanting to be silly and playful, when a few manipulative people in my past regarded that aspect of myself with resentful condescension.

After our hour of peace and small talk, we left to take on the infamous 17-mile scenic drive. Yelp wasn't entirely fond of it, but Jacob and I convinced ourselves it was worth the $9.25 to see sea lions. Holy s**t, was it worth it! The weather was misty and windy, the waves ferociously battered the white sandy beaches, and the roadway lay barren of other vehicles for nearly the entire trip. The water was impossibly clear, a pale turquoise color, something I have only ever seen in movies. Surrounded by gorgeous, huge mansions, ancient Cypress and Ash trees, and endless stretches of boulder encrusted beaches, it was a road trip paradise. More than once I exclaimed, "we need to get you your Mini Cooper S, Jacob!" or "I want my new Camaro, dammit!" because the rented Volvo didn't take full advantage of the road we had before us.

As Jacob drove, I read aloud from a little tourist pamphlet about each landmark we passed. It was a freakish level of relationship bliss, the kind I thought was reserved for fake, teevee couples in the 1950s. We stopped at almost every 'point of interest' and took our time enjoying each vista. At "the famous Ghost Tree" point, we wandered around aimlessly until we decided we had no clue what they were talking about. With the interwebz on hand, I now know the tree they were referring to, though us trying to guess which one was the Ghost Tree makes the memory hilarious, and therefore much more valuable.

Despite my half hearted whining, we returned home that night. The apartment was still mostly clean, a huge plus after a vacation. This morning, however, I found this on 5thgen.org: "Just spotted (a 2010 Camaro) about 30 minutes ago, headed north on Highway 1 towards Morro Bay. My guess is that they're headed to the Monterey area for the evening. Keep your eyes open if you live along the central coast."

GAH! I knew we should have stayed longer!! Next time, we are going to hit Laguna Seca. I always biff'd it in that damn corkscrew in Gran Turismo, I have to see it in person!

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